you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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