im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize