next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
