He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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