Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
third nipple confirmed
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
