let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
