Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
