If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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