Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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