Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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