Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I see more hoeing in ur future
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