You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize