you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
