...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize