Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
