I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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