dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize