We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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