so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
