so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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