Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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