ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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