Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize