dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
