My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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