Pants 0. Shit 1.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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