I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
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I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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