she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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