Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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