I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
