My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
