What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
