What a fucking waste of an outfit
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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