So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
