Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
