The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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