Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
