at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
