There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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