Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
