I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
