she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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