I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
