Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
