come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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