can u get pink eye on your cock?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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