so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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