new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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