Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
