she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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