Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
