He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I need moral support for this bender
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
