So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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