Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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