She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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