i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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