I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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