some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize